Confessions of a Shy Exhibitionist
My journey to where I now thrive as an erotic activist, coaching men in the practices of Mindful Masturbation and Male Erotic Alchemy, has unfolded as an epic of personal transformation. I took the first baby steps as a painfully shy young man who felt terrified of anyone seeing him naked, to an older man without any qualms or regrets over how I've exposed myself to men all over the planet. I've displayed myself not just physically, sharing my body, my genitals and self-pleasure practices--I also expose myself emotionally, mentally, even spiritually. Yes. I feel a powerful catharsis, an indescribable tingle not just in my body, but an expansion and warmth of my heart that comes from knowing how fully I share my intimate self with my Phallic Brothers.
So this particular journey of claiming self-esteem began in Colorado where I spent my young adulthood from my early twenties onward until my early forties, when I began to discover what I now call Mindful Masturbation. The first photos I ever made of myself naked, in my twenties, were taken with a borrowed camera on ledges of granite in the high mountains. They revealed an extremely thin young man, not particularly certain of himself, but determined to confront this question: What on Earth do I look like? How would other people see me naked…? Do I look hideous, or maybe somewhat okay? Might some men even find me sort of attractive…?
Above is one of the first naked photos I ever took of myself at about age 23, when I appeared raw pink and very skinny. In truth, I was terribly nervous. I recall it was quite brisk and breezy, so you can see that my penis was not at all aroused. At the beginning of puberty I had started to compare myself to those other boys in the showers and changing room who were popping out with muscles, dense clouds of pubic hair, and bigger heavier nearly adult penises, which swung about hypnotically. This constant comparison of myself with other men made me feel extremely shy about my nakedness. But when I reached my early forties, this changed completely! This happened when I learned how to slow down and provide myself with as much high quality pure penis pleasure as I could possibly wish to enjoy. My self-esteem increased tremendously; masturbation became many times more pleasurable for me, than it had ever been before. The most crucial keys are to breathe deeply and relax during arousal.
Once I got on the Internet in the second half of the 1990s, I not only loved to masturbate, but I wanted more than anything to encourage other men to masturbate shamelessly, and with increasing skill sets, so I needed to encourage men by example. There is nothing illegal or shameful about male self-pleasure! On the contrary: there is nothing so innocent, pure-hearted, and beautiful in Nature, in human existence, as a man manually stimulating his penis to bring his entire body and being to new levels of bliss. Male masturbation is truly a fine art. When a man stimulates his penis, there is nothing missing--a kind of completeness exists! This is a sensation of feeling totally alive! How you appear to others depends a great deal upon how you feel to yourself.
Thus, my photo and video projects were intended to possibly arouse, but also to inspire other men to masturbatory excellence. I had discovered from my own experience, that self-pleasure skills can be learned and developed, and also taught by kind, patient, and encouraging example. My own personal breakthrough into how to experience the limitless possibilities for pure penis pleasure came in 1995. It still required some years of diligent practice before I could present this practice as the 9 GOLDEN KEYS TO MINDFUL MASTURBATION eventually made into a video series of online trainings by my handsome young friend Blue Tyger.
Mindful Masturbation can actually train your penis to give you ever-increasing quality of pleasure. Just as a musician's fingers or vocal chords learn skills that the muscles in their fingers and vocal chords employ faster than the signals can travel to the brain and back, your penis can be trained to provide you with forever finer and finer sensations of erotic ecstasy. Your penis can be constantly trained during your lifetime to reward you ever more glorious ecstasy as the years of your life progress. This does require some creativity in your practice, and conscious, unflagging dedication over time. I'm the living proof of this.