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  • Writer's pictureBruce P. Grether

Orgasm = "The Little Death"?

by Bruce P. Grether

At the Third Quarter of the Moon, halfway between Full and New Moons, we reach a phase that Rowena Pattee Kryder calls "The Gorgon of Death." This may, at first, sound a bit intimidating, or even scary. Only, most of the time this is not about actual death, but spiritually the death of the ego. It's about seeing things are they truly are!

Ego causes illusions, gets in the way of clarity. In Tibetan Buddhism, ego death is considered necessary in order to SEE the Clear Light of Reality with no illusions! Your erect penis is real and helps you to SEE and experience reality as it truly is! Clearly, this is no illusion.

Indeed, fully mindful, shameless, celebratory embrace of your aroused penis and its potential to uplift, exalt and transform your conscious awareness lifts you above the illusions of suffering caused by belief in separation! The Clear Light reveals Oneness or non-duality.

Nothing is actually separate from anything else. Brotherly Love that you share with the Phallic Fraternity of you fellow human males is not to be confused with romantic love, though it can certainly overlap and merge with that also. It is about sharing.

One special virtue of men sharing Mindful Masturbation is that you can bypass ego-games and the standard sex-hunt that men are often conditioned to feel is necessary to gain sex partners.

The high erotic state of conscious fusion with your source in Nature and your animal nature allows you to let go of egotism, to experience a kind of death of your ego. Your ego dissolves. It no longer dominates or governs your awareness. As such this can put you face-to-face with the Clear Light of truth beyond illusions.

Such erotically-expanded consciousness may also allow you to move beyond simplistic, conditioned beliefs about good and evil. Surely, the only evil in the world is when humans deliberately cause pain, harm, or destroy of what is beautiful, good, and life-enhancing.

To be fully present, embodied, charged with intent erotic energy is to be a Phallic God. Ancient Greek images of the Great God Pan were coopted by later religious authorities as an image of the "Devil." In the actual Old Religions, no such deity of evil existed. The Inquisition and its allies hunting so-called Witches invented this Devil.

Indeed, Darkness is not in any sense negative. Rather, it is inter-contextual with Light, and they interplay as necessary contrasts integral to one another's existence.

You need not know the French language to have heard that the French sometimes call orgasm "La petite mort," which means "the little death." When YOU surrender to the intensity of orgasm, your entire being seems to dissolve into oblivion.

The "ego" or sense of self of your ordinary consciousness seems to be gone--at least briefly. And yet, orgasm and ejaculation are not the same thing. Many guys believe they are, because in their teens when these were first experienced, they happened at the same time. It is important to discover that these are not one, and may be experienced separately.

When you learn to "ride the waves" of ecstatic bliss with increasing skill, you discover that you can experience state of orgasmic ecstasy without the abrupt ending of ejaculatory orgasm. Beyond what most guys call "edging," semen retention means you wish to continue to experience the pure penis pleasure of as long as possible. Possibly forever! Enjoy the journey…

Extended self-pleasure allows you to look into the Clear Light for prolonged intervals. Your pure penis pleasure is no illusion: it is as real as anything you experience. As an embodied man, it may be considered more real than things that exists only in your mind! So much suffering is caused by over-thinking! Let your penis bring you into full embodiment.

This is one extremely precious aspect of self-pleasure: it can bring you from the mental sphere, through your heart in the form of loving yourself, to your penis. The sensations flow and flower from that Tree of Life between your legs and throughout the Paradise Garden of your body.

This "Little death" of ongoing orgasmic pleasure as you learn to provide yourself with continuous, intense, powerful sensations of masturbatory bliss, is actually a sense of feeling more alive than ever!

This does not mean that you should never ejaculate, of course! But over time as a masturbator your learn that the reward is limited, when compared with what is possible when you relax into the exquisite panoply of sensations. Keep breathing, shift your focus from any other goal that to savor and relish the ecstasy in fully ecstatic mindfulness.

This is your heritage as an embodied human male. It is the purpose of your genitals to provide you with pleasure. Of course you can share this pleasure with other men because of the fact you have in common these living realities: your penises!

Of course your penis may be shared with fellow men in various ways. You may simply display your arousal to each other and masturbate, enjoying the spectacle. When possible, however, the tactile and full sensory experience of rubbing erections together is spectacular!

Given the opportunity, to press your erect penis against that of a Phallic Brother and to enjoy the sensations of masturbating both penises together is a profound, deeply spiritual practice, and as the flip-side of "little death," it feels like LIFE writ BIG!

This kind of pure penis pleasure feels too good to allow it to end quickly. When both men involved develop enhanced masturbatory skills, you may experience prolonged states of orgasmic ecstasy, or even multiple dry orgasms in the process.

While you may eventually choose to go ahead and surrender to ejaculatory orgasm, to die that "little death," kissing can deepen and heighten the bliss!

This is that Clear Light where you can SEE without any illusions, no separation, as you and your Phallic Brothers are truly One.

Phallic Brotherhood exists beyond any particular place, or religion. The lovely Phallus above come from the Kingdom of Bhutan, where many buildings are so-decorated. But what this truly means is that in Eastern and Western Worlds, men love penises and masturbation!

In the East and the West both, holy people are often depicted with haloes. What could be holier than your penis, when you see it's true nature in the Clear Light? The head of your penis emanates a halo of holiness, which blesses you within and without you.

Allow orgasmic pleasure to take you beyond your ego's limitations into the egoless state where you "die" to personal limitations. Open and expand your awareness to greater scope, in the species, the natural environment, the planet, the Universe as a whole.

All of this is possible when you generate that flow from penis-to-heart-to-mind and circulate it back from mind-to-heart-to-penis. Like the rotating planet itself, like Love, this process is truly without beginning or end: it is continuous.

Explore the limitless possibilities of bliss. Willingly "die" to limitations that pain and suffering may cause you to imagine are reality itself. Balance it out with erotic ecstasy. Let actual death serve as a reminder to be fully alive now! Never take anything for granted! Live, grateful for that priceless treasure between your legs that allows you to feel totally alive!

My friend Rowena, in her book THE FACES OF THE MOON MOTHER, adds after the Third (or Last) Quarter Moon, the phase she calls the "Yielding Moon." As the waning continues, this is another potentially disturbing phase, for she calls it the "Dark Mother's Dance." However, she indicates that this is about dancing out negative feelings, and releasing them. Wisdom, indeed! Handsome Young Russell is also a huge Rowena fan!

Our next Guided Group Masturbation session on Z00M will take place with the Full Moon of Saturday, April 16, 2022 at 11am PST/ 2pm CST/ 3pm EST. Each time we hold these group sessions, they grow more powerful and profound. Please join us! Sign up HERE! (Or click image above!)

"La petite mort" of orgasmic bliss puts into perspective the actual sadness and grief of loss. Invest your awareness and your presence in ecstatic pleasure, here and now. This is the place and time that you SEE clearly. It is not escape. It is genuine aliveness.

This is the purpose of your penis, and the penises of all men!

Much Love,


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