The Shy Exhibitionist
by Bruce P. Grether
The first time I photographed myself naked and masturbating, I took an old Polaroid camera outside on the back porch that overlooked the wooded hillside. I positioned the camera, then sat upon the porch swing to take the first photo. I began fully clothed, to get the camera angled correctly. Finally, I began to masturbate, to expose myself, and soon ended up shirt-cocked, meaning naked from the waist down. I was too shy about my body to take off my shirt!
Until I met my partner, who is a relaxed person and something of a nudist, I had been painfully inhibited about revealing my body ever since puberty, when I began to irrationally compare myself with others.
Now, nearly two decades later, I still can grow aroused when I observe photos or videos of myself naked and masturbating. It’s a natural, healthy and even beneficial practice to record your self visually this way. It’s a perfect way to monitor your self-esteem, and also to study your practice with some degree of “outsider objectivity.” It helps you refine and evolve the way you pleasure yourself. It’s a liberating process.
Following my decision to share my masturbation photos and videos online, and then to start taking my shirt off (after many requests), nearly 100% of the critical reaction has been encouraging, appreciative, even laudatory!
Anyway, it isn’t primarily your appearance, so much as the energy you emanate from within, that actually turns people on. My theory is that people see your soul, as much as your body, when they look at you or your images. People sense and feel what’s within you.
Most of us don’t look like standard media models or film stars, which is okay. To this day, if I insist I’m still sort of shy, my partner just laughs. Doubtless a somewhat physically shy person like me longs more deeply than anyone to be witnessed, accepted, and to stop judging himself: to love himself better.
That’s what Mindful Masturbation and Erotic Engineering are all about