One of the most powerful aspects of Bruce’s Mindful Masturbation teachings for me has been the legend he relates in The Secret of the Golden Phallus about Nefertum, the handsome young Egyptian phallic god of renewal that rises out of the Blue Water Lily at dawn. Before I heard about Bruce, I had been on a long quest to find this mythical blue flower, as I believed it could heal my chest. (My chest is indented and I wanted it to be normal.) When I read in Bruce’s book that the Blue Water Lily was actually a symbol for my penis, and that the physical act of self-love can transform your body image to where it doesn’t matter what you look like on the outside, I knew that I had stumbled upon something magical.
I had been practicing Mindful Masturbation for about a year by the end of 2012, when I sat in a ceremony to honor the winter solstice and the re-birth of the sun. One of my intentions for the ceremony was still physical healing for my chest, even after having been told so many times that the answer to healing was to love myself no matter what I looked like. After having stayed up all night singing and drumming, the sun was finally emerging and I found myself in a trance-like state where I was not really in control of my body. An unseen energy gripped me, and I was forced to look up at the crystal clear blue sky with my mouth wide open. The blue flower had always been there, the sun forming the golden center of the lily. I had just never seen it before. A powerful voice in my head told me “Look very carefully. You are completely healed. You love yourself. Don’t ever forget it!”
Shortly after this ceremony, Bruce and I opened Erotic Engineering and decided to use the Blue Water Lily as one of the symbols of the Mystery School. An incredible life-force energy lies sleeping at the base of our spines, and when we allow the phallic blue flower to bloom, we can ask that energy to transmute up into our heads and hearts. Nefertum can become much more than an old legend, and the Blue Water Lily can be seen as a most beautiful flower.